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Eulogy
for John: Saying goodbye
to John is the hardest and most painful thing we have ever had to
endure. He was the light of our lives and brought us nothing but
joy and happiness every day. His passing
has brought an emptiness so great that it will never be filled,
and a pain so unimaginable no parent would ever dare dream of it.
But no parents
could ever have been more proud of their son. At John’s birth
I held him, looked into his eyes, and promised him that I would
be the best father he could ever have. I didn’t realize it
until much later, but John was also promising that he would be the
best son a father could ever have. I know he kept promise. From a very
early age John had a joyful personality. No boy ever enjoyed life
more. He enjoyed our visits to his grandparent’s farm in Pennsylvania
where he liked to sit behind the wheel of his grandpa’s tractor
and pretend he was driving, or go up to the hay loft where he and
his sister had their clubhouse. He and Jennifer—who joins us
here today–have been the closest brother and sister I have
ever met. As they grew up together they became each other’s
closest friends. Jenny adored her older brother, and enjoyed his
accomplishments as much as we did. He won the county
spelling bee in the sixth grade and went on to the regional finals.
The boy who came in second is still one of his closest friends.
In fact every friend John ever made has been a close friend, from
kindergarten right through his four years at the Academy, because
everyone enjoyed being with John. John was fun
to be with, and could find humor in everything he did. He was a
combination of Jerry Seinfeld, Chevy Chase and Homer Simpson. When
he was an upperclassmen, he would often train his Plebes with humor
rather than criticism. He once made them use sock puppets to address
him at dinner as a lesson in respect. He also loved to dance, and
once wore his special black and white dancing shoes to dinner and
moon walked down the center aisle to his company table. John always
left you laughing. He loved to watch Saturday Night Live, David
Letterman, and show us funny excerpts from a comedy website called
“The Onion,” an internet version of the National Lampoon.
At dinnertime John always had us watch the Simpsons rather than
the evening news because he preferred to laugh and enjoy life than
be dragged down by the day’s negative events. John was my
best friend and we talked over the phone several times a week about
his future hopes and dreams, and his latest favorite stock picks.
He became interested in investing from one of his classes at the
Academy, and his professor Bruce Johnson told me John was one of
the brightest students he ever met. In fact John decided he wanted
to pursue a career in finance following his service in the Navy.
I remember the
day John was accepted to the Naval Academy. He received an early
letter of admission and came running across the lawn in front of
my office saying, “Dad I did it, I made it.” We laughed
and hugged and I told him how proud I was of him. In fact every
time he came home I always gave him a hug and told him I loved him
and he would always say: “I love you, too, Dad.” I loved John–and
still love him–for his character and courage even more than
for all his accomplishments. During Plebe summer he somehow attracted
the attention of a particular upper class detailer. Detailers are
the drill instructors who teach and train the Plebes during the
six weeks of boot camp their first summer. One of John’s best
friends from that summer wrote and told us that one particular detailer
gave John the toughest time of anyone in the company, but John took
everything the detailer dished out and wouldn’t quit. Soon
John’s friends began to rally around him because they admired
his courage and tenacity. They started taking the heat for him,
and later that summer elected him their HERO officer because of
their respect for him. A HERO, or Human Education Resource Officer—is
a peer counselor who helps his fellow Midshipmen with their personal
and academic problems. John was so giving and caring that he became
one of the most popular HERO officers, and was selected in his final
semester as the outstanding HERO in his graduating class. My son is my
hero. At a time when we have become a nation that worships celebrities,
it is the heroes we should celebrate. Each one of you, too is
a hero. You are the nation’s best and brightest, and the
future leaders of our country. John was one of you and was proud
to be a graduate of the US Naval Academy. Now you have honored
him, by joining us today, and by the honor you have bestowed
upon him as he was laid to rest on the hallowed grounds of the
Academy cemetery with so many honored naval heroes and Academy
graduates. The Naval Academy
Foundation has also informed us that a Memorial Fund has been established
in John’s memory to support the Character Development Program
through private donations, to support and expand what we believe
is the finest character and leadership development curriculum anywhere
in our nation. We hope you will join us in supporting this fund
as John’s legacy, so that it will continue to nourish the character
and spirit of leadership as the Academy prepares leaders for our
nation. And finally
let me also say that our family is committed in John’s name
to making sure that we pass laws in our nation that will protect
us from the plague of drunk driving that took our son’s life.
We are truly grateful that Kristen was spared and is with us here
today. We pray for her spiritual and emotional recovery and that
she will join us in finding comfort that John is at peace in paradise,
and sending Angels to watch over and protect us. We also ask
you to join us in the Hero Campaign, a grassroots movement to
support and expand designated driver initiatives in communities
across the country. The theme “Be a Hero, Be a Designated
Driver,”
will be the focus of our campaign to protect our loved ones by
keeping drunk drivers off our roads. To bring an end to drunk driving
fatalities and accidents would be our greatest tribute to John
and his greatest legacy. Let’s not let him down. In the back
of the sanctuary, there are baskets with blue and gold ribbons which
are the symbol of our campaign and a remembrance of John. John was a quiet
hero, and a humble person with a heart of gold. I laughed and enjoyed
life more when he was around, and my wife and I told each other
often how blessed we were to have such two fine children as John
and Jennifer. This past Father’s Day he gave me a card in which
he said he was proud to be my son and his greatest goal was to make
me proud of him. I told him that my goal was to make him as proud
of me as I was of him. Now that John
is no longer with us, it is up to us to continue his work. To share
his laughter, to help others in need, and to make this world a better
place because we were here. We wish John had more time with us,
but he will live on through us—all of us who remember him—or
have come to know him through us. We are God’s only instruments.
We are his hands and his voice. In his 22 short years John taught
me a lot about God just by being such a great guy and wonderful
young man. He taught me how to be kinder, more patient, and not
to sweat the small stuff. They were John’s greatest gifts to
me, and I hope I learned them well. Now John, let me say that we will miss you forever, love you forever, and be proud of you forever, until in the fullness of time we will be together again. May God bless you John, your fellow Midshipmen and officers, and may God Bless America. God speed John. We have work to do. Let’s begin.
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